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Writer's pictureMarquita Bianca

Master Duality=Master flow



I had a fantastic session with a client where we needed to work through her challenges with duality centered around dating beliefs. After working through this same thought process with a friend I decided this is a great time to make this information available for anyone else that is feeling the same way. 


Duality is defined as : an instance of opposition or contrast between two concepts or two aspects of something. Simply put duality is having opposing thoughts and beliefs within the same subject.


Duality shows up in daily life with many things. It can be as simple as not being able to decide what to eat or not feeling capable of showing up for your BIG life you were meant to live.

While my formal advice to fully fix limiting beliefs would be to spend time doing the inner work I also believe there are many strategies that can be put in place while clients focus on inner work. Even beginning from our first few sessions. 


Why don’t we want “duality” in our life and how do you identify the forms of duality that you don’t want or do want?

When explaining this to clients I use the analogy of driving a car and their thoughts are what power the car to either “go” or “break”

Here is an example using duality around the subject of dating:

Client’s thought: I want to be open and curious about men to eventually find a husband, but also know that I’m not ready for a relationship right now. At least I think I’m not, but maybe I’m wrong about that.

Visually clients can see how their belief operates on a scale of either their productivity or what I feel is most important, their progression in happiness. 

I review their thoughts with them as a math problem that relates to powering a car.

The key is to align all those ideals so they move in the same direction. Below is an example of analyzing each part of the thought.

I want a husband. (Moves forward)+

I’m healing from past trauma. (Moves forward)+

I’m scared to date (brakes on)-

I’m not ready for a relationship right now (brakes on)-

=Neutral


While this is human, our thoughts/perspective really do help or harm our progression. So we re-wrote her desires in a way that didn’t feel too expansive and were true so that she could start to embody them today.

I want a husband(because I desire it) 

+ I am healing from past trauma (I’m giving myself grace to heal in flow )

+ I’m open to getting to know amazing people 

+ I will enjoy the journey of what becomes= (The Sweet spot and falling in love with every moment which allows someone to fall in love with you)

=Forward Progressive Flow


Make it practical as a daily journal prompt:

In your day to day ask yourself.  Do the sum of my thoughts move me in one direction?

If not, how can I re-write them so they align with my heart's desire?

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