Why Just Writing a Love List Isn’t Enough

April marks 6 years since I wrote my first-ever Love List. While writing it, I felt both free and excited—but I quickly realized that the act of writing a Love List is only the first step in a multi-layered journey you can’t skip on the way to your aligned, desired life.

Inner work is the first activation.

While writing your Love List is deeply personal and intimate, that doesn’t mean you have to go it alone. I’ve learned the power of assembling what I call my “starting lineup”—a small circle of people who reflect your values back to you and keep you accountable. In my early days of inner work, I leaned on five trusted friends (fun fact: my husband was one of them!) who held space for me and brought light to the shadowy places in my journey. Depending on where you are, your starting lineup may include a therapist, coach, or spiritual guide. Let it look like whatever you need to be well and move forward.

Tool suggestion: The Aligned Living Playbook

Document the highs and the lows.

This is one of my favorite hacks for leveling up. You need a space—separate from your therapist or community—to process your feelings, track your growth, and reflect. Even more, you need a space to celebrate your wins. When the light feels far away, those documented wins will remind you how far you’ve come.

Tool suggestion: The Aligned Living Notebook

Honor crawling just as much as leaping.

Progress is progress—even when it’s slow. Inner work isn’t linear. Some days, you’ll crawl. Other days, you’ll leap. Both are sacred, and both deserve celebration.

Flowers don’t bloom in the dark.

You can’t do the real work in hiding. Inner work requires the courage to show up and test your energetic capacity in real-time. The proof is in your ability to stay grounded, to recover, to self-regulate—even in chaos.

Go from player to coach.

There’s nothing wrong with being in “player mode,” but it’s not where your power lives. Coaches call the plays. Coaches create strategy. When you become the coach of your own life, you move from reacting to creating—and that’s where true alignment begins.

If you’re reading this and feel like you don’t have the heart or patience to endure, let me offer you this:

Time passes either way. Where you end up will always be defined by what you do day to day—and how you do it.

Need support on this journey? Helping women navigate this work is my specialty—and I’d be honored to walk with you.