Over optimizing IS your super power in love, relationships and beyond

Optimizing is defined to make as perfect, effective, or functional as possible

My 1st week of clients and this work shows me how incredibly amazing we are as humans. While I didn’t plan it that way 2 out of 3 client discussions focused heavily on Over optimizing in certain areas of their life. Over optimization in our culture is more common than we give the world credit for. I, myself have spent years focusing my inner work to balance out the areas I place this emphasis. It is ever evolving!

Since my client focus is women It’s a simple equation of wanting a Big life and having to make it happen on their own. The Why is a wide spectrum from relationships, to career, family, finances and more. All humans and creature’s alike can have the tendency to over optimize. Think about the guard dog that may lean heavily on an attack response rather than that of your traditional lap dog. Then your lap dog may have little to no attack response. They are REALLY good in that one area but lack the ability to move fluidly between the two.

Where over optimization goes wrong is that it can take the joy response out of life situations. I see this countless times on the dance floor when couples come in. The guys are trying to learn a new move where it may take them a few minutes to process it and their partner is right there to “help” or “solve” their learning dilemma. Even though the first thing I announce to our class is that our followers should focus on being in bliss as they follow their partner. Focusing on your bliss doesn’t allow you to focus on problem solving. Bliss focus is embodying fun, freedom, lightness, and sensuality while in that moment knowing you are being fully supported!

The beautiful conversation I was able to have with my clients is the act of over optimization is Not a bad thing. In fact, with Inner Work it can become your superpower!

A few tips that can help you transition the way you respond in this season 

1. Seeing those around you as capable

1. Using reciprocal language (Ask for help, allow yourself to be helped and be specific)

1. Journal and reflect specific moments making sure to note your new desired outcome. 

This is a huge topic and one I will be sure to cover often. I can also help you deep dive into this in my 1 on 1 sessions, small group and upcoming master class sessions! Learn more here