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  • Writer's pictureMarquita Bianca

Best Marriage advice we've received-so far!

Best Marriage Advice we’ve received

Still in our first year of marriage I can say I’ve heard some pretty good pieces of advice from couples that are in long healthy relationships.  Many have said, be sure to listen to one another and to put each other first. It wasn’t until I heard a few words from someone I call my “mentor from afar” that it really helped me piece together priorities that are specific to us.


Tip 1:   Spend the first two years learning and not taking anything seriously


This was so profound. I love my husband and I want to be the best for him. He also works hard daily to show up as his best for me. But where in there do you figure out the line of grace?  When she said this I imagined the line of grace being us, standing side by side walking into each adventure and challenge together.  It's ok to be clueless and learn together. 


Tip 2: Believe the goodness of intent  with your partner


Believe first, that your partner wants and is trying to do the very best by you.  This takes so much trust but is the truest thing to help you come from a place of love with your person.


Tip 3: Take time to learn your partner's appreciation language


How do they respond and show their appreciation? It might amaze you that everyone is different and not all appreciation is shown externally.


Tip 4: Learn how to de escalate situations and basic emotional regulation skills


This is gold.  If you are familiar with the saying, “Don’t let the enemy get a foothold” then you would understand that many large arguments start with a very small misunderstanding.   Many of us are not born with the skill to talk through even a small thing and decide that thing doesn;t get to be big.


Tip 5: Everything starts with you


The accountability in this statement says it all.  My mentor described this as having the power to put energy into the outcome that you seek.  Want a loving marriage? Then be accountable in the effort to make that happen. Etc etc


While we have had incredible advice these 5 have stuck with me and I look forward to continuing to apply them. I hope they bless you in the partnership you are currently in or working towards.


xoMB

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